Taking back what I used to love to do

Recalling the decade, starting from scratch, and slightly feeling less crappy because it’s 2020

Baths are new beginnings — so is taking a shit in the morning after having your cafe latte enema. Since it’s the New Year, everyone is into new beginnings. A new gadget to spew hundreds of your time on. New lists of books to read (or the same lists of books that remain unread from three years ago). New #wanderlustgoals for your ‘Gram, ew.

In my case, the New Year can mean the simplest things — like Satoshi finally purchasing a ふわふわ rug for our chair-less living room, or getting our yearly fortune papers from our neighborhood’s shrine. Unlike before, there’s no need for new resolutions. For the past three decades, ugh, they haven’t worked for me, anyway. Instead, I’ll just go with whatever life throws at me.

Since it’s the New Year, people are posting side by side pictures of themselves. 2010 vs. 2020. I was tempted to do the same, but it actually made me think about my biggest takeaway from the past 10 years. Which was: embracing what I loved to do, that was mostly writing and taking pictures.

I made Parallel Planets. Did a lot of freelance writing gigs. Did group exhibitions. Got myself tattoos. Began black & white photography. Gave birth to MONO. Held workshops. Attended workshops. Helped build Thousandfold. Helped build Vetro. Started the short-lived Frame Zero. Did more events. Published one photobook. Ended two long-term relationships in between. Lost friends. Burned bridges. Built new ones. Kept the best ones. Left home.

And then my life in Japan began. Studied 日本語. Found the love of my life. Earned a position as an English teacher. Moved together to a new apartment. Learned how to cook.

For the past couple of years, I have attempted to resurrect my creative projects for a number of times. I promised myself that I would release monthly photo-zines, but didn’t even get to print a dummy for myself. I even did a whole re-launch of MONO last October, but unfortunately, things haven’t been pretty well career-wise (it still isn’t), so it’s been really hard for me to pursue things creatively.

Only one thing is for sure: I still want to do this. So here I am, brimming with hope and telling myself that I will go back to writing and taking pictures again. Because I have always loved doing these two things, they always go…